I can’t read road maps. I mean, I REALLY CAN’T READ THEM. I DON’T UNDERSTAND THEM.  It’s like I have a mental block. They do not make any sense to me. I want to turn them to where I see the road in front of me, so I can follow it. The problem: I may not be on the right road…so there you go… I start out lost on my journey. The better term is confused. Not sure of my direction. Knowing where I want to go but can’t figure out how to get there. You might say that I’m directionally challenged.

Kristin, my oldest daughter, was about eighth grade and my youngest, Katelyn, was about 4 years old when the three of us took off to Dallas (about 530 Kilometers for my Kenya friends) by ourselves. I had not traveled much on my own without my husband until this time. It was too easy for me to get lost. Remember, I could not read a road map. There was a new gadget out that gave me confidence to travel. It was a GPS (Global Positioning System). This wonderful little gadget plugged into a power source in my car and the suction-cup attached to the GPS stuck to my windshield. It carried “magical powers” (not really but for me it felt like it).  I could put in the exact address where I wanted to go, and BOOM! It gave turn by turn, road by road, directions to my final destination. It even showed me which lane to be in when I was in a big city. Because of my new device, my confidence was off the charts! I knew I could get there because EVERYTHING was PERFECTLY laid out before me. Each road, each lane, each exit right there showing me exactly what to do. It was all in a little box attached to my windshield. It not only showed me, but it also spoke the precise directions. All my fear of traveling by myself was gone. I knew I could get the three of us to Dallas, Six Flags Over Texas, and our hotel. Life was perfect! We were off.

When we arrived in Dallas that evening, we had one small set back. I could not find the hotel I booked. I followed all the directions that my GPS told me to do.  Turn by turn. Lane by lane.   Next thing I knew, I drove up to a gate that took me in to Dallas International Airport (DFW). That just couldn’t be right. Why would this GPS send me through a gate that would take me inside an international airport?  So, I turned around, drove back on the road about 5 miles. The entire time the GPS yelled “RECALCULATING THE ROUTE”. (Of course, it wasn’t really yelling, but by this time I was afraid that I was lost, so it seemed like it was yelling at me.) Again, I followed the GPS lane by lane, turn by turn, and WOSH! I was back at the same gate. That gate just couldn’t be right.  Why would I go through this gate to get to my destination? It just didn’t make sense. Once again, I turned around, went back about 5 miles, and the GPS sent me the same way. AGAIN, I turned the car around and retraced my steps, hoping for a different outcome. AGAIN, I followed the directions, and AGAIN I got back to the same gate. ONCE AGAIN, I rechecked my address. Yes. I had typed it in correctly. There was only one thing to do. I MUST take things into my own hands and find a different hotel.  One that did not go through this gate by the airport. Yes, I had prepaid for the hotel but that didn’t matter. Me taking things into my own hands, being able to be in control of my destination, a destination that did not include a gate into an airport……that was what was important. (Did I really just say that even with my fear of getting lost, I was willing to risk that and take things into my own hands to find my destination? Yes. Yes, I did. Insanity???)

My life right now feels a bit like being lost with a GPS showing me my direction.  It’s right in front of me, but I’m not sure if the turn through the gate is the right turn or not.  I feel a strong need to take things into my own hands and take control of where I think things should go next. Can you relate? Thank goodness scripture pulls me right back to truth. The Israelites and I have a lot in common. Even though they had God as their GPS, they decided to take things into their own hands and find their hotel (the promised land) their own way. Let’s pick up the story In Exodus 13. It is time for the Israelites to leave Egypt.  Before they do anything, anything at all, they are to consecrate their firstborn, firstborn of any womb, both human and animal. Side Note: This law of Moses continued through the birth of Jesus. (See Luke 2:23) Two times in Exodus 13, verses 9 and 16, God tells the Israelites why they are to consecrate the firstborns. It is to remind them.  Remind them of the time that they left Egypt and He took care of them. He refers to it as a “sign on your hand and a reminder on your forehead”. Deuteronomy 6:4-8 Israel is told to Pay Attention! You are to love the LORD your God with all your heart, soul and strength. They are to tie symbols on their hands and bind them on their foreheads. Why would God tell Israelites to be so focused on things that had happened in the past? He wanted them to remember who He is and what He had done for them. If I would take this piece of wisdom as I look at my future, confidence and peace would replace fear and uncertainty. God wants me to look back, so I can look forward. He has ABSOLUTELY taken care of me and my family in every step of our life.  When I look back at the map of life that I have traveled, God took care of me. He guided me through some roads that needed 4-wheel drive, and He guided me on smooth highways that a sports car could go down. It is important to look back, look back to where I’ve been so I know that my GPS (God) will take me where He wants me to go in the future.

Next God promised that He would guide them every step of the way (Exodus 13:22). Israelites leave Egypt and start following the pillar of cloud and fire that God placed in the sky. They were heading to the promised land. The Egyptians realized the mistake they made releasing all of their slave workforce and started after them ready to take them captive again.  Then God give the Israelites the strangest command. “Tell the Israelites to turn back and encamp near Pi Hahiroth, between Migdol and the sea. They are to encamp by the sea, directly opposite Baal Zephon. ³ Pharaoh will think, ‘The Israelites are wandering around the land in confusion, hemmed in by the desert.”  Wait! What? God wanted the Egyptians to come after them? Why would He lead them into the desert to die? Why didn’t he let them just die while they were enslaved? There are two reasons God wanted the Egyptians to pursue the Israelites:

1. He used the defeat of the Egyptians to show He was (and is) THE LORD and He would be glorified. As hard as it is for me to get through my thick skull, this life is not about me. God created me to glorify Him.  My life is to be lived so that He is glorified. Yes, even when everything around me looks hopeless and I feel lost, He has a plan that will GLORIFY HIM.
2. As usual, I will refer to the NIV study Bible notes on 13:17-18. (my paraphrase) The Israelites left Egypt ready for battle. BUT, they had not experienced the LORD fighting for them. When they saw the Egyptians swallowed up by the wall of water that had been held back for them as they crossed the sea, they saw the power and glory of God Almighty.  This miraculous act of their safe crossing, and the Egyptians drowning, gave the Israelites confidence that the God they were following, was the God that had a plan for them, a direction for them. He would guide them to safety and fight for them every step of the way.

So right about now, your wheels in your brain are turning. You are just about ready to come back to me with this, “How can you say they had not seen the power of God yet? They just witnessed the 10 plagues that God threw at the Egyptians to convince Pharaoh to let them go.” You are exactly right. But let me ask you a question. Have you ever witnessed the power of God and then soon after that felt defeated by something that happened in your life? Hey friend, I’m so there. I am a cancer survivor. My husband is a cancer survivor. God has held our hands and walked us through infertility, loss of family, illness, and job loss. He has shown us His power and glory over and over again. But there are still times that I question His plan, His road map, His turn by turn, lane by lane directions. That very thing is what has put me on this journey to study how God lead His people in the past, so I can be sure and see where He is leading me now.

Back to my Dallas trip. The morning after I paid for a second hotel, the girls and I got up and headed out.  I decided to look for the hotel we had booked for the weekend in the day light.  Things always look better in the morning, right? So, we were off, lane by lane, turn by turn. We went through the gate. There was the hotel. Right where it was supposed to be. And yes, yes it was much nicer than the one I booked in a panic when I took things into my own hands.  It was a Hyatt Regency and we stayed in a Holiday Inn (which was clean, but not as fancy). The crazy thing was the Hyatt Regency was cheaper than the Holiday Inn. (I had booked it on one of those discount websites.) Isn’t that the way it goes when we ask God to guide us and lead us and take us where He wants us to go, but we decide we know what is best?

Recently I have been very confused. Terry and I were walking in God’s will.  We were confident in that.  We had prayed and fasted asking God to lay out His plan for us.  The plan that came to be was in accordance to scripture, so we knew it lined up with God.  Unsolicited other Christians confirmed this plan. We took steps to follow God. BUT disobedience derailed His plan. My question: Will God still lead us where He wants us to go? He did with the Israelites. Take time to read Numbers 13 & 14. God had promised the Israelites a wonderful new land.  It was lush and beautiful.  It was what He wanted them to have.  There would be challenges on the way, but He would take care of those for them, if they just obeyed.  You know the story, the 12 spies went to check it out, and 10 said no way. Joshua and Caleb said YAHWEH! Joshua and Caleb knew God would deliver them to this promised land.  The Israelites did not put their faith in God and decided to take things into their own hands. Look at God’s response in Numbers 14:11 The LORD said to Moses, “How long will these people treat me with contempt? How long will they refuse to believe in me, in spite of all the signs I have performed among them?Gut check time:

• Do I grumble in spite of all that God has done for me?
• Do I doubt His power in accomplishing things?
• Do I expect God’s work to depend on me? Do I realize he does not need me to accomplish what He wants done?

The Israelites tried to set things right on their own. It was a disaster because God was not with them.  They were defeated when they went to battle. They were no longer following God’s plan. It had become their plan.

Because of their disobedience, all adults but Joshua and Caleb died in the wilderness.  Their children inherited the promised land. What does this mean to me and the circumstance I’m in now? I must give up control and learn my lesson from the Israelites. Even though disobedience humanly derailed the plans that I was sure that God laid out, it did not derail God. God has a plan, a map. He will give me lane by lane and turn by turn directions. He asks me to OBEY HIM and TRUST HIM. Trust Him to guide us into His plan and path. Obey Him even though I may feel like He has lead me to a gate that I don’t think I need to go through. I may not understand all that God is doing now that the path in my life has changed. I may struggle with impatience, but I need to stay focused on God and listen to His turn by turn instructions. I need to continue to pray and fast for His clear direction. When things seem uncertain, I need to read Romans 8:31, What, then, shall we say in response to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us? I need to learn from Joshua and Caleb, when others say No Way, I must say YAHWEH.

Blessings – Cherie